Free tool and workbook
Eulogy builder: write a meaningful tribute, step by step
Choose your relationship and tone, answer guided prompts, and get a draft you can copy and shape. Then use the five-part structure to fit it to the time you have.
Reviewed by the Linkora editorial teamUpdated October 20268 cited sources8 min read
- Relationships
- 6
- Relationships
- Tones
- 4
- Tones
- Page workbook
- 12
- Page workbook
The short version
Before you start
Free tool
Build your eulogy
Who is the eulogy for?
Select your relationship to the person. This helps us tailor the prompts to your experience.
Free printable PDF
Get the Eulogy Workbook
A 12-page fillable PDF: story-mining prompts, a story-to-lesson worksheet, a five-part planner with word targets for 3, 5 and 7 minutes, an officiant check-in sheet and delivery cards.
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Timing
How long should a eulogy be?
- One of several speakers (NFDA) [1]2–5 min
- Stand-alone eulogy (Toastmasters) [3]4–6 min
- Catholic words of remembrance (Boston example) [8]≤5 min
- Sole speaker (NFDA) [1]7–10 min
Bars show the upper end of each range. Toastmasters' guidance is to stay under 10 minutes [3].
| Minutes | At 125 wpm | At 140 wpm | At 150 wpm |
|---|---|---|---|
| 2 | 250 | 280 | 300 |
| 3 | 375 | 420 | 450 |
| 4 | 500 | 560 | 600 |
| 5 | 625 | 700 | 750 |
| 6 | 750 | 840 | 900 |
| 7 | 875 | 980 | 1,050 |
| 10 | 1,250 | 1,400 | 1,500 |
Structure
The five-part eulogy structure
0:00 · about 70 words
1. Who I am to them
Your name, your relationship and why you're speaking. NFDA suggests starting here [1].0:30 · about 70 words
2. The one-line portrait
The single sentence that sums them up.1:00 · about 350 words
3. Two or three stories
3:30 · about 140 words
4. What they gave us
Lessons, habits and what lives on in the people in the room.4:30 · about 70 words
5. Farewell
End on a consoling, meaningful note [1]: a short reading, a direct goodbye, or something to carry forward.
125–150
words per minute: the advised pace for public speakers [6]
4–6 min
suggested length for a stand-alone eulogy [3]
2–3
main points is enough [2]
For a three-minute slot, keep one story. For seven or eight minutes, add a third story and a little life context. The six template styles in the builder (chronological, themed, lessons, a day in their life, a letter, a single story) all fit this shape.
Preparation
Before you write: gather the stories
NFDA suggests an informal family and friends meeting to gather information and stories [1]. A phone call works too. Ask each person for one memory, not a summary. These prompts help:
- The first memory you have of them
- A time they made you laugh, or showed up for someone
- A phrase they always said
- Something they were stubborn about
- What their hands were always doing
- What people will miss on an ordinary Tuesday
| The story | The quality it shows | What it taught us |
|---|---|---|
| Fixed every neighbor's lawnmower, for free | Generous with time | Show up for people |
| Learned to swim at 60 | Never too late | Try the thing that scares you |
Check with the officiant
Speaking at a religious service
Many families are surprised by the rules at a funeral Mass or other liturgy. Ask early.
- Catholic funeral Mass. The Order of Christian Funerals says a brief homily should always be given, “but never any kind of eulogy” [7]. A family member or friend may speak in remembrance before the final commendation [7].
- Diocesan limits. The Archdiocese of Boston's guidelines, for example, allow one speaker for no more than five minutes [8]. Some parishes ask to see the text in advance.
- Other traditions. Ask the officiant how long you have, where your words fall in the service and whether there's a microphone. If the service is short on time, a longer tribute can be shared at the reception or the graveside.
Practical advice
Delivery tips for the day
Practice aloud at least twice
Hearing it helps you catch awkward phrasing. Time yourself while you're at it.
Print it in large type
16 point or more, double-spaced, pages numbered. A phone is hard to read through tears.
Mark your pauses
A slash ( / ) after each story is a reminder to breathe and let it land.
Name a backup reader
Brief a friend and give them a copy in case you need a moment.
Notes are fine
NFDA says it's okay to use notes. You don't need to memorize anything.
Speak slowly
Nerves make everyone rush. What feels slow to you sounds natural to the room.
Honesty
Writing about a complicated person
You don't have to make them a saint. NFDA notes that frustrations and faults can be touched on in a kind, compassionate and accepting way, and with humor [1]. A few phrasings that are honest and kind:
- “He wasn't always easy to love, and he knew it. But when it counted, he showed up.”
- “She had strong opinions about almost everything, and she was right more often than we admitted.”
- “Our relationship had hard years. I'm grateful we had the good ones at the end.”
What to avoid
Common mistakes
- Reading a résumé. Dates and job titles belong in the obituary. Stories belong here [2].
- Running long. Write to your time slot, then time it aloud [3].
- Inside jokes. If half the room won't get it, explain it in one line or leave it out.
- Making it about you. Your relationship is the lens, but they're the subject.
- Skipping the practice run. Reading aloud once at home makes the real thing much easier.
FAQ
Questions about writing a eulogy
Can’t find what you’re looking for? Read all FAQs or ask us directly.
Important Disclaimer
Grief is deeply personal. The information here is meant to support, not replace, professional counseling. If you are struggling, please reach out to a grief counselor or therapist.
Last reviewed: October 7, 2026
Sources
Where these facts come from
- [1]Writing A Eulogy · National Funeral Directors Association (Remembering A Life)
- [2]Delivering Eulogies · Toastmasters International
- [3]Delivering a Heartfelt Farewell (Tammy A. Miller) · Toastmaster magazine, 2020
- [4]The Most Difficult Speech: The Eulogy · Toastmaster magazine
- [5]Finding the Right Way to Say Goodbye (George Kiser) · Toastmaster magazine, 2026
- [6]Articulation, Pitch, and Rate (Public Speaking) · Lumen Learning, citing the National Center for Voice and Speech
- [7]Eulogies at funeral Masses · Arlington Catholic Herald
- [8]Guidelines for Homilies and Words of Remembrance in the Order of Christian Funerals · Archdiocese of Boston, 2014
Reviewed by the Linkora editorial team against the sources above. Last reviewed October 2026. Spotted something out of date? Tell us.
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